Loss is an experience that touches everyone in life, whether through the passing of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or other significant life changes. Grief is the deeply emotional response we feel in the wake of these losses, and while every person’s experience is unique, the journey of processing grief has common aspects. Understanding what grief involves, allowing yourself to move through its phases, and finding ways to cope can help you walk the road to healing.

Understanding Grief and Its Phases

Grief is a natural reaction to losing someone or something important to us. While it’s often tied to death, it can also arise from other changes: moving away from home, losing a job, or facing a shift in personal identity. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross famously outlined five stages people may go through in grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are not steps to check off—they can happen in any order, overlap, or repeat. They simply provide a general map of emotions that many people feel.

  1. Denial: “This can’t be happening.” Denial is a way to cushion the blow of loss, helping us survive the initial impact.
  2. Anger: “Why did this happen?” This stage often comes with frustration or a sense of unfairness as we grapple with the loss.
  3. Bargaining: “If only I could…” In bargaining, we reflect on how things could have gone differently, often as a way of holding onto hope.
  4. Depression: “This is so painful.” At this point, the full weight of the loss settles in, bringing a deep sense of sadness.
  5. Acceptance: “This is my new reality.” Acceptance doesn’t mean feeling “okay” about the loss but learning to live with it in a way that allows us to move forward.

These stages remind us that grief is complex, moving through highs and lows rather than following a predictable path.

Coping with Grief: How to Find Healing

  1. Allow Yourself to Feel What Comes Up
    Pushing away painful emotions may seem like an escape, but it often slows the healing process. Allowing yourself to feel the sadness, anger, or confusion that comes up can be cathartic. Writing in a journal, creating art, or talking to someone you trust can help you work through these feelings.
  2. Connect with People Who Support You
    You don’t have to handle grief alone. Surround yourself with understanding friends and family or consider joining a support group. For some, therapy provides a safe space to express feelings without fear of judgment.
  3. Create a Way to Remember
    Honouring your loss can bring comfort and meaning. Some people hold a small ceremony, plant a tree, or keep a keepsake that helps them stay connected to their memory. Finding a personal ritual can give you a sense of peace.
  4. Take Care of Your Physical and Emotional Needs
    Grieving can wear on your body and mind, so prioritizing rest, exercise, and nutrition can make a difference. Practising mindfulness or relaxation exercises, even briefly, can also help you feel grounded.
  5. Be Kind to Yourself
    Healing is not a race. Avoid comparing your grief to others, and give yourself permission to feel happy or laugh, without guilt. Moving forward does not mean you are leaving the loss behind; it means finding a new way to carry it with you.
  6. Seek Help If You Need It
    Grief can sometimes become overwhelming. If you feel that sadness or other emotions are affecting your daily life for an extended period, reaching out to a counsellor or therapist can help. Talking to someone trained to guide you through grief can be a powerful part of healing.

Finding Purpose Beyond Grief

In time, the sharpest edges of grief may soften, allowing you to cherish memories while building new ones. Some people find peace in honouring a loved one through volunteering, creating art, or mentoring others. By channelling feelings into purposeful action, you can start to reshape your world in a way that includes the memory of what you have lost, while also embracing new beginnings.

Final Thoughts

Grief is a part of our human experience, a testament to our capacity to love deeply. Although painful, it offers a pathway to resilience, self-compassion, and a renewed appreciation for life. By understanding, accepting, and working through grief, we allow ourselves to heal and eventually thrive once more.

Each journey through grief is personal, but with time, patience, and support, we can find ways to carry on, honouring the loss while building a future that includes both love and hope.